Boy doesn't that bring up some bitter sweet memories!!! I don't know if you saw my thing on myspace but I've been in a strange mood the last 2 days and all I could describe it as is a, "Missing Paco kind of day" that's everyday but it seems to be worse right now. That happens now and then, although every single day you, Andrew and Jamie are in my thoughts. When somethings come up or I just wake up feeling funny he's heavy on my heart. I spent several hours going thru songs he printed off for me. There was such irony in some of the words. I can't wait to see you the next time you are down here!
You know Toni, this song never makes me sad when I hear it but there are several others that do and I will be posting them. Andrew has been very heavy on my heart and mind also, it makes me wonder. I'll be going to your MySpace tonight to check it out.
Yeah, you are right. It's not so much "sad" on this one... maybe just uneasy. That might not be the right word either.... hmm I hate it when I don't know how to express what I'm thinking/feeling. It takes me back to a moment in my life I never thought I'd be experiencing and wish a million times over that never would've happened. But all at the same time... the very thought of him makes me feel good and smile. Maybe I'm just crazy!! ;)
Could the heaviness be because he is around you a lot right now, but maybe his presence is making you sad where he is trying to make you know he is always with you.
Thanks Cara for telling me about your sis. I just wished I could have rendered his whole face a little more "youngish". Who know, I may get inspired to try again with a different pose.
I've always read/heard, that the minute we think of our loved one who has passed that they immediately respond to that thought about them and move into your "vibrational" sphere. He's probably tickling you right now and you don't know it.
Do you ever get itches on the top of your head, or tickles. I get that a lot when I'm thinking about a loved one...
Sandy - I still have a hard time with the idea of visits in the traditional sense but I do believe in signs - I hope he isn't around me, he always hated it when I cried. He would really get on me for getting so down -
I just realized how I sound sometimes. I really hope I'm not coming across as "poor me" because that isn't how it is meant!!! It's nice to talk to someone who can relate to what I'm feeling. Maybe some of my wondering thoughts should be reserved for myspace blogs or somewhere I can ramble without dragging you thru the ups and downs. You lost your son and I can't even begin to comprehend your strength! I'm really sorry if the way I comment sometimes comes out in the wrong places!!!
11 comments:
Well that was a fun song and video to watch. I enjoyed it!
and I enlarged the photo of him and he always has a twinkle in his eye from the photos you have posted ...
I bet he still has that twinkle.
sandy
Sandy - I talked to my sister today and she was talking about your drawing - she said she was blown away by how perfectly you rendered his eyes -
His eyes are beautiful...I have been thinking a lot about his eyes...
Thanks for visiting Sandy!
Boy doesn't that bring up some bitter sweet memories!!! I don't know if you saw my thing on myspace but I've been in a strange mood the last 2 days and all I could describe it as is a, "Missing Paco kind of day" that's everyday but it seems to be worse right now. That happens now and then, although every single day you, Andrew and Jamie are in my thoughts. When somethings come up or I just wake up feeling funny he's heavy on my heart. I spent several hours going thru songs he printed off for me. There was such irony in some of the words.
I can't wait to see you the next time you are down here!
{{{HUGE HUGS}}}
~Toni
You know Toni, this song never makes me sad when I hear it but there are several others that do and I will be posting them. Andrew has been very heavy on my heart and mind also, it makes me wonder. I'll be going to your MySpace tonight to check it out.
Yeah, you are right. It's not so much "sad" on this one... maybe just uneasy. That might not be the right word either.... hmm I hate it when I don't know how to express what I'm thinking/feeling. It takes me back to a moment in my life I never thought I'd be experiencing and wish a million times over that never would've happened. But all at the same time... the very thought of him makes me feel good and smile. Maybe I'm just crazy!! ;)
Could the heaviness be because he is around you a lot right now, but maybe his presence is making you sad where he is trying to make you know he is always with you.
Thanks Cara for telling me about your sis. I just wished I could have rendered his whole face a little more "youngish". Who know, I may get inspired to try again with a different pose.
I've always read/heard, that the minute we think of our loved one who has passed that they immediately respond to that thought about them and move into your "vibrational" sphere. He's probably tickling you right now and you don't know it.
Do you ever get itches on the top of your head, or tickles. I get that a lot when I'm thinking about a loved one...
Like right at the crown of your head.
s
No Toni - you're not crazy, you're just lonesome for Paco like we all are.
Sandy - I still have a hard time with the idea of visits in the traditional sense but I do believe in signs - I hope he isn't around me, he always hated it when I cried. He would really get on me for getting so down -
I just realized how I sound sometimes. I really hope I'm not coming across as "poor me" because that isn't how it is meant!!! It's nice to talk to someone who can relate to what I'm feeling. Maybe some of my wondering thoughts should be reserved for myspace blogs or somewhere I can ramble without dragging you thru the ups and downs. You lost your son and I can't even begin to comprehend your strength! I'm really sorry if the way I comment sometimes comes out in the wrong places!!!
Toni - don't worry about your comments - I cherish all of them - Love ya, Cara
Love you too!!
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