A very unhappy(scared) Andrew (age 9) and his father on the Durango &Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad.

I've dreamed about Andrew twice since I last reported. Both times it was brief, too brief. I wonder why that is. Do you think that God knows my heart would break if he gave me too much. Do you think he knows I might take advantage of a prolonged opportunity and ask question that are not yet any of my business? I wish I knew how to make the dreams last longer, I miss him so.

The first one was just a passing glimpse of him. He was up on a dark stage of a nightclub where he was MC"ing" a tattoo contest and I was walking through the floor of the club on my way to another location when I saw him. Now how fitting is that? Paco hosting a tattoo contest. If its not blasphemy I would like to think that by the time I get to Heaven Andrew will have all the disciples talked into tattoos and tongue piercings.

Then early this morning I dreamed about Andrew again. He appeared to be about six or seven years old. He was sitting on a step looking very nervous. Andrew had a certain look when he was frightened. It was like he was fighting the urge to cry. Trying to be brave but losing the battle. In my dream we had to swim a short distance and the water was going to be about ten feet deep. He was scared and was telling me how he could swim but he could only swim in water two feet deep.

I was talking to him like I always did. Disguising my own concerns in order to appear totally confident. Pretending it was no big thing, a breeze. I can look back now and remember doing it often as Andrew was a "scary cat" most of his young life. Scared of clowns, carnival rides, riding on his daddy's shoulders and as the photo above will attest, he was scared of trains. Most of the time he was scared of nothing but the few times I was also scared I did my best not to show it so he would feel safe.

Anyway in this mornings dream he was anxious and telling me he had only swam in water that was two feet deep before and that he was scared. I told him it didn't matter how deep the water was he would only be swimming in the top two feet of it. Isn't that strange?