I have been very tired for a while now. And in addition I have been missing Andrew so much lately. I seem to cry at the drop of a hat.

A couple of weeks ago I had a very bad night. Many things were going wrong. I couldn't sleep. I was too warm, tossing and turning endlessly. Add to that the fact that I had a terrible cough that I couldn't seem to conquer. I had coughed so much that it felt like I had pulled all the muscles in my back and ribs. Painful to move and yet I couldn't lay still. There was more but I'll stop with this since I'm starting to bore myself. But I will confess that in one moment of fatigue and frustration I silently wished I would not see another morning.

I had been awake all night when I finally drifted off just as the sky was beginning to become light. I woke up suddenly a hour and a half later having dreamed about Andrew.

In my dream Andrew came to where I was and I was so happy. I said, "Andrew I am so happy to see you." I started walking toward him as I continued. "I have been missing you and wanting to see you." At this point I put out my arms to embrace him.

He never said a word. From the beginning he had looked straight at me with a very stern look on his face. When I tried to hug him he pulled back and away from my grasp and kind of sneered at my attempted affection ever so slightly.

That was it - he was gone as suddenly as he arrived.

What did it mean? You tell me, but then again I'm sure I know.